Russell and I had the humbling experience of being asked to write a devotional for our church's use. Our church is entering into a time of commitment for the payment for one of our facilities. This devotional guide is a 21 day guide written by different members of our congregation to help guide us in thoughts of prayer, God's will and giving.
We agreed to write the devotional and then we began to seek out God's guidance for what we should write. We were given the verse on which we should base our devotional.
Our devotional guide started Monday, January 21, and will run for the next 21 days. Russell and my devotional is featured on day 3, today.
"And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever." 1 John 2:17
Russell and I mulled over many potential topics to write about concerning this verse from our many trips to Nicaragua to share about Jesus, the urgency of the gospel to coaching a basketball team. God directed our hearts through the process of each of these and how this verse can apply. We specifically chose to focus on prayer but even more importantly God's will for our lives.
This is what God placed on our hearts to share. May it be a blessing to many......
Having grown up in the church, we heard much about the will of God. And honestly, it seemd like a pretty simple idea to follow: you go to church, you pray, you read your Bible, and by doing so you are living in God's will. Our little world had not faced many trials until we had our second child. A little over six years ago, our second daughter was born. What joy and blessing we felt had been bestowed upon us again. A short while later our very core and beliefs would be put to the test. We would begin to question, "What was God's will? What was eternal?" Our daughter was born with a condition that has left her where she cannot walk or talk; she is basically still an infant. If we were to "survive" this, we would need to seek out God's will for us. We would need to spend time asking for a conscious awareness of what is eternal.
After much prayer and contemplation, soul-searching and tears, we feel we have begun to grasp the concept of God's perfer will and his eternal blessings. You see, if we only look at our daughtert through earthly or wordly eyes, we see her as imperfect and flawed. We could easily think that this could not be God's will for anyone. However, if we let our Holy Spirit comfort and guide us, we can see that through her life, she is bringing God glory. Her very existence is evidence of God's abiding love and His will that we be in constant and perfect union with Him.
Jesus, help us to focus on things eternal.
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Thursday, January 17, 2013
The Answer that Changes Everything
So much to our suprise, in September 2012, our neurologist asked if we would be willing to consider trying this new panel of genetic testing done specifically targeted at kids like Claire who started seizures so extremely early (weeks old instead of months or years old). We said sure, what do we have to lose. This testing would involve one small vial of blood that would then look at 38 genetic disorders. Some of these disorders we had been tested for before and they always had come back negative. We had the testing done and then the waiting began. We actually waited so long we almost forgot we had even had this testing done.
Then on Monday, out of the blue, the Dr. calls. Sure enough, Claire tested positive for one genetic disorder. My mind is still swirling about this possibility. As the Dr. said, this gives us an answer to they question why, but there is no cure, yet.
So this is the answer that changes everything and nothing all at once. We have a reason why she has seizures, delays, trouble eating, small hands and feet and even why she crosses her legs all the time. But for now, there is no treatment.
She has been diagnosed with CDKL5. www.CDKL5.com A very rare, genetic disorder. Only 200 known cases worldwide. Whew! Speaking of being fearfully and wonderfully made. This genetic mutation happened upon conception. It is not based down from the family and won't be passed down to other kids. It truly could only happen as God designed her. What an amazing idea!
We continue to hang onto hope now that some day, wonderfuly doctors will find a cure for this. Something that will treat that particular gene. But even if we never see that day, thank you God for your amazing creativity in creating Claire. Thank you for blessing our lives with her. Thank you for entrusting her to our care. Thank you for this journey you have placed us on.
Friday, February 17, 2012
Pillowcases
Hope and I are planning on making a return trip to Nicaragua in May. We are so excited! We have decided to try and help us raise money we are going to make pillowcases to sell. Hope has already been selling her pillowcases for the past 2 semesters at ACES (homeschool coop) so now we have decided to branch out to the public.
So if you are interested in a pillowcase, here is the info you need.
Cost: $15
What you tell us: boy or girl and color preference
What you get: a home sewn, hand selected one of a kind pillowcase
Our goal for the trip is 100 pillowcases. We are also donating to a local children's hospital if you don't need the pillowcase but would like to help with the trip. Or if God is leading you, we would accept a monetary donation as well.
Of course we covet your prayers above all that He would be preparing our hearts to share and the ears and hearts of the Nicaraguan people to be open to hearing the Good News.
Monday, February 6, 2012
Roller Coaster Ride
Whew! Ok I'm not a big roller coaster fan, in fact, if I had my choice I wouldn't ride one. And let's say the last time I rode one, I was scared spitless. We took Hope to Six Flags for a day of fun and we convinced her to get on the Judge Roy Scream, a smaller, but old roller coaster. She was all giggles until the first drop and then she became a puddle of tears. I wanted to join her. However, I can say in this ride we call Life, that I have come to if not enjoy at least hang on and try to go with the ups and downs.
This posts finds us over half-way through Hope's 3rd grade year of school and boy are we having fun, she has really found her stride and is able to do the majority of work on her own. We have gotten to study the human body, make architectural Russian eggs, measurement equations and story writing. She is doing great. We have also gotten to enjoy Molly start some preschool and she is like a little sponge--so fun.
Hope is also flying through her Awana book for this year, working hard to memorize all of those Bible verses. Boy, what a gift she has.
This year has also seen her continue with her private swim lessons. She is one test away from passing the level to be life guard certified (if she were only 15!) Way to go Hope! So super proud of you in how you work hard.
She has also started piano lessons and absolutely loves it. She is flying through her book. We got her a keyboard to practice on, it comes with songs/lessons pre-programmed, she is working hard to learn those too! HA! What a blessing she is as a daughter and we love to sit back and watch the many ways that God is blessing her.
Of course growing up doesn't always come easy. She is learning some hard lessons on self-control; learning to guard her tongue and learning to listen to instruction. I think we all need a lesson on that sometimes.
Now for Miss Molly----she is such a hoot! Here are some of her latest antics----big into makeup and finger nail polish. We love to wear our tutu and beanie hat when it is 40 degrees out. And in case you didn't know, we had "whale" the other night (we had a lot of hail and she had never seen it so she kept asking where the "whale" was!) And we love to give "big-like Jesus" hugs and to "sparkle like Jesus Christ our Lord!" HA! She too, is smart as a whip. She is picking up on our Spanish by just being in the room and she has fun learning her Awana verses too.
And of course, she is learning some of those hard growing up lessons too....obedience and not whining!
And what is up with Miss Claire these days. We have definitely been up and down with her. We had a rough patch early on this fall with her seizures not being under control. After another new medication we have seen some improvement, but with it has come screaming! I would have to say that the whole family could do without that. She has also begun to develop precocious puberty. Something I have not handled real well.... she is way to young---only 5! However we are getting to see a Pediatric Endocrinologist this week to try to control or slow down the process. I am quite anxious to see what they will say.
On to some exciting news for her though, we have gotten approved for her a new bed. Once it comes in I will show pictures. We have also gotten her a bath chair---whew saves my back. And we are in the hunt for a new stroller and car seat for her.
Also, she has been approved to work on some drinking again! And actually she has done quite well drinking from a big girl cup---no sippy cup! Awesome!
We are trying to get her more up-right for more hours of the day, that can include sitting in her wheelchair, standing in her stander and sitting in her tomato chair. She is doing great!
We are hoping for a fun spring and enjoyable summer, but we know to hang on, for the ride can change at any time. We have some fun things planned, a trip to Grandparents house, a trip to Houston for the King Tut exhibit, Hope and I are planning for a return trip to Nicaragua in May and then summer vacations in June and July!
We are so very blessed to have 3 awesome girls and we truly cherish their individualities. They make us smile and laugh often and occassionally bring us to tears. What a fun ride this is we are on!
This posts finds us over half-way through Hope's 3rd grade year of school and boy are we having fun, she has really found her stride and is able to do the majority of work on her own. We have gotten to study the human body, make architectural Russian eggs, measurement equations and story writing. She is doing great. We have also gotten to enjoy Molly start some preschool and she is like a little sponge--so fun.
Hope is also flying through her Awana book for this year, working hard to memorize all of those Bible verses. Boy, what a gift she has.
This year has also seen her continue with her private swim lessons. She is one test away from passing the level to be life guard certified (if she were only 15!) Way to go Hope! So super proud of you in how you work hard.
She has also started piano lessons and absolutely loves it. She is flying through her book. We got her a keyboard to practice on, it comes with songs/lessons pre-programmed, she is working hard to learn those too! HA! What a blessing she is as a daughter and we love to sit back and watch the many ways that God is blessing her.
Of course growing up doesn't always come easy. She is learning some hard lessons on self-control; learning to guard her tongue and learning to listen to instruction. I think we all need a lesson on that sometimes.
Now for Miss Molly----she is such a hoot! Here are some of her latest antics----big into makeup and finger nail polish. We love to wear our tutu and beanie hat when it is 40 degrees out. And in case you didn't know, we had "whale" the other night (we had a lot of hail and she had never seen it so she kept asking where the "whale" was!) And we love to give "big-like Jesus" hugs and to "sparkle like Jesus Christ our Lord!" HA! She too, is smart as a whip. She is picking up on our Spanish by just being in the room and she has fun learning her Awana verses too.
And of course, she is learning some of those hard growing up lessons too....obedience and not whining!
And what is up with Miss Claire these days. We have definitely been up and down with her. We had a rough patch early on this fall with her seizures not being under control. After another new medication we have seen some improvement, but with it has come screaming! I would have to say that the whole family could do without that. She has also begun to develop precocious puberty. Something I have not handled real well.... she is way to young---only 5! However we are getting to see a Pediatric Endocrinologist this week to try to control or slow down the process. I am quite anxious to see what they will say.
On to some exciting news for her though, we have gotten approved for her a new bed. Once it comes in I will show pictures. We have also gotten her a bath chair---whew saves my back. And we are in the hunt for a new stroller and car seat for her.
Also, she has been approved to work on some drinking again! And actually she has done quite well drinking from a big girl cup---no sippy cup! Awesome!
We are trying to get her more up-right for more hours of the day, that can include sitting in her wheelchair, standing in her stander and sitting in her tomato chair. She is doing great!
We are hoping for a fun spring and enjoyable summer, but we know to hang on, for the ride can change at any time. We have some fun things planned, a trip to Grandparents house, a trip to Houston for the King Tut exhibit, Hope and I are planning for a return trip to Nicaragua in May and then summer vacations in June and July!
We are so very blessed to have 3 awesome girls and we truly cherish their individualities. They make us smile and laugh often and occassionally bring us to tears. What a fun ride this is we are on!
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Musings
Over the past several weeks I have felt a tugging in my heart for some ministry changes. Is it because we have been going non stop for a year now? Is it becasue my focus has changed? Is God truly the one tugging my heart or is it out of selfish reasons? I'll try to fill in the reasons later.....
But I do know that after 17 years of working in some role in children's ministry on Wed nights, from Mission Friends, GAs, Bible Drill, to AWANAS. I have turned in my resignation and given up working...whew! As I write this and say this, my heart beats a little faster and I begin to sweat! Really???!! Give up my beloved Children's Ministry?! What am I to do now? Am I growing up, maturing? Time to move on to "adult" ministries? hmmm?????
I do know that I feel called by God to serve beside my husband as we teach our adult Sunday School class. I feel that we have an incredible opportunity to support and fellowship and lead these other young couples.
I also feel called by God to homeschool my kids and to have home health therapy for Claire, which means 5 days a week we are busy with school and therapy---which can leave little time for other major preparations. What an incredible opportunity I have each day around my kitchen table to teach the Word of God to my kids and then impart knowledge in their hearts and minds! Wow! what an amazing responsibility.
It does seem I have moved on to some more "adult" roles....Sunday School, committee member, choir? (still considering that option....) As the door has closed for now on Children's ministry, I am excited about the new places God is leading now but holding out that in the future I can return to my beloved place among kids.....I guess only time and really finally God will be the say in that.
So to those of you struggling with ministry choices and opportunites.....open your heart's ear to hear God and the tugging in your heart as to where He would have you serve..... may we serve with joy and gladness.....
But I do know that after 17 years of working in some role in children's ministry on Wed nights, from Mission Friends, GAs, Bible Drill, to AWANAS. I have turned in my resignation and given up working...whew! As I write this and say this, my heart beats a little faster and I begin to sweat! Really???!! Give up my beloved Children's Ministry?! What am I to do now? Am I growing up, maturing? Time to move on to "adult" ministries? hmmm?????
I do know that I feel called by God to serve beside my husband as we teach our adult Sunday School class. I feel that we have an incredible opportunity to support and fellowship and lead these other young couples.
I also feel called by God to homeschool my kids and to have home health therapy for Claire, which means 5 days a week we are busy with school and therapy---which can leave little time for other major preparations. What an incredible opportunity I have each day around my kitchen table to teach the Word of God to my kids and then impart knowledge in their hearts and minds! Wow! what an amazing responsibility.
It does seem I have moved on to some more "adult" roles....Sunday School, committee member, choir? (still considering that option....) As the door has closed for now on Children's ministry, I am excited about the new places God is leading now but holding out that in the future I can return to my beloved place among kids.....I guess only time and really finally God will be the say in that.
So to those of you struggling with ministry choices and opportunites.....open your heart's ear to hear God and the tugging in your heart as to where He would have you serve..... may we serve with joy and gladness.....
Friday, July 29, 2011
The Dog Days of Summer
Ok maybe summer didn't really fly by but it sure seems like it as we look back over the last 8 weeks. Boy have we had a fun and busy summer, from VBS, Branson vacation, basketball camp, swim team practice, Colorado Coolness....and now Russ is back to work, Hope is still swimming, and we are beginning to get our school stuff in order. Whew! And all the while we have been sweltering under 100+ days! Thank goodness for A/C!
Hope has done exceedingly well with swimming... she has almost completed level 4 of the 6 levels of swimming...plus she has made great progress on the swim team! You go girl! This year has been a huge year for her.....Her first overseas missions trip...her first testimony in front of 500 people...her first experience of leading kids to Christ....her first solo in a Children's choir program....the only kid in AWANAS to complete all 3 Sparks books (earning her the Sparky award). Hope, I am so proud of you!
Claire continues to make baby steps, although this year has been a tough one for her. We are still struggling to get her seizures under control which does make it harder for her to make physical progress. And to top it off, she grew 5 inches over thw winter---she is one tall girl now....
Molly is still the life of the party, our comic relief and the pusher of all limits! She is a great sister to Claire and she bugs Hope endlessly, all the while telling you how much she loves you!
Here are some of my favorite pics from the summer. May the end of summer and beginning of Fall be filled with as many blessings as we have seen this year!
Hope has done exceedingly well with swimming... she has almost completed level 4 of the 6 levels of swimming...plus she has made great progress on the swim team! You go girl! This year has been a huge year for her.....Her first overseas missions trip...her first testimony in front of 500 people...her first experience of leading kids to Christ....her first solo in a Children's choir program....the only kid in AWANAS to complete all 3 Sparks books (earning her the Sparky award). Hope, I am so proud of you!
Claire continues to make baby steps, although this year has been a tough one for her. We are still struggling to get her seizures under control which does make it harder for her to make physical progress. And to top it off, she grew 5 inches over thw winter---she is one tall girl now....
Molly is still the life of the party, our comic relief and the pusher of all limits! She is a great sister to Claire and she bugs Hope endlessly, all the while telling you how much she loves you!
Here are some of my favorite pics from the summer. May the end of summer and beginning of Fall be filled with as many blessings as we have seen this year!
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Easter!
He is not here! He is Risen!
Probably one of my favorite Bible stories---the Easter story! Still takes my breath away to think about the amazing sacrifice that Christ did for us. Amazing love! Oh that I would remember daily what you have done for me and that then you conquered death and the grave and you are ALIVE today!
Ok flashback to about 5 years ago, Hope goes to Sunday School on Palm Sunday. Her lesson that week is of course about the Triumphal Entry. Her teacher asks the question, "What did Jesus ride into town on?" And Hope answers, "a donkey!" Good job, Hope!
Fastforward to this year. We are reading the Miss Pattycake Easter book. I ask Molly, "what did Jesus ride into town on?" and Molly answers, "a donkey!" Good job, Molly! And then I ask, "what did the people say when they saw Jesus?" and Molly says, "Hey Jesus! Why you riding that donkey!" Ha ha ha!
We have had a wonderful Easter time, from reading Miss Pattycake, to decorating eggs, to hunting eggs at church. Even Claire enjoyed the fun of coloring eggs and hunting them!
Thank you Jesus for Easter!
Easter Morning!
Easter Eggs!
Probably one of my favorite Bible stories---the Easter story! Still takes my breath away to think about the amazing sacrifice that Christ did for us. Amazing love! Oh that I would remember daily what you have done for me and that then you conquered death and the grave and you are ALIVE today!
Ok flashback to about 5 years ago, Hope goes to Sunday School on Palm Sunday. Her lesson that week is of course about the Triumphal Entry. Her teacher asks the question, "What did Jesus ride into town on?" And Hope answers, "a donkey!" Good job, Hope!
Fastforward to this year. We are reading the Miss Pattycake Easter book. I ask Molly, "what did Jesus ride into town on?" and Molly answers, "a donkey!" Good job, Molly! And then I ask, "what did the people say when they saw Jesus?" and Molly says, "Hey Jesus! Why you riding that donkey!" Ha ha ha!
We have had a wonderful Easter time, from reading Miss Pattycake, to decorating eggs, to hunting eggs at church. Even Claire enjoyed the fun of coloring eggs and hunting them!
Thank you Jesus for Easter!
Easter Morning!
Pajama Time!
Easter Eggs!
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Our Year so Far!
Whew! This year is flying by and we have filled it with all kinds of fun, crazy activities! Here are a few of our highlights!
*Trip to Nicaragua
*Move to a new house
*ACES started
*Valentine Banquet
*State Basketball Tournament(just got to go watch)
*2 girls Birthday party
*Spring Break to Grandma's
And here are some of our pictures from the year! Enjoy!
Monday, December 27, 2010
Nicaragua Times Two!
Here we come Nicaragua! This year a group of 6 of us are headed back to Nicaragua. And this time I am getting to take Hope with me. I am so excited about this opportunity for both of us. As seen in a previous blog, I truly feel God has laid this trip on my heart for both Hope and I and I can only assume he has great and amazing things in store for us.
So we are flying out early Tuesday morning and will be serving in Nicaragua for a week. Plus getting to enjoy the amazing beach and ocean front mission house.
Please pray for safety....boldness in sharing...Hope's overall experience for her eyes are going to see a completely different world.... for patience (I know I am going to answering lots of questions)...for Grandmommy and Grandaddy as they watch the other two girls...for Russell as he is home alone....for Christ's word to penetrate many hearts...for me to have enough love to share with all I see... for our translators they are our life line over there.
I will post again after the trip and share our amazing journey.
So we are flying out early Tuesday morning and will be serving in Nicaragua for a week. Plus getting to enjoy the amazing beach and ocean front mission house.
Please pray for safety....boldness in sharing...Hope's overall experience for her eyes are going to see a completely different world.... for patience (I know I am going to answering lots of questions)...for Grandmommy and Grandaddy as they watch the other two girls...for Russell as he is home alone....for Christ's word to penetrate many hearts...for me to have enough love to share with all I see... for our translators they are our life line over there.
I will post again after the trip and share our amazing journey.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Fall Fun times
The Ratliff family has had lots of fun times this Fall... from homeschool projects, to the circus, the State Fair, and Pumpkins in the Park. Wow! We sure do know how to fill our calendar up to the max. But Dad and I have had a great time with the girls in some of these exciting endeavors. It is quite fun to watch them learn, grow, and experience life. May God continue to bless our family times together....
Enjoy the pictures!
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
SSV
Voices?!?!
Everyone has one and it can be used for much good or much bad. I grew up with a father who we teased had "the voice", and you sure didn't want to be on the receiving end of "the voice". It usually meant you were in pretty big trouble. But somehow he managed to win our respect and even reverance without really raising his voice.
Voices can be raised in beautiful song, can be used as cheers at many sporting events, can be a quiet whisper of love to a child.
But what does God's voice sound like?
In youth choir one year, we did a musical that featured SSV as a main character in the play. The SSV was God's Still Small Voice. This voice choose to speak to the main characters in voices that we could hear but the other cast members could not at the time. I have always loved the idea of God's Still Small Voice. After all, in Psalms it tells us to "Be stil and know that I am God". Possibly implying that we must be quiet in order to hear God speak to us.
But I have had a few experiences in my life, when God's voice is neither Still nor Small. It is almost as if I have heard a real voice saying as plan as day what I should do. And yes, it scared me spitless the first time I "heard" it.
The first time I remember hearing God's voice was when Russell and I had really just become friends. And I heard an almost audible voice tell me that I was going to marry this guy. Imagine my shock! What? I hardly know him! Well of course 2 1/2 years later we were engaged, and now we have been married for 12 years!
The next real time I remember God speaking to me in that audible voice was before Molly was born. In fact God told me I was pregnant with Molly before I physically knew, but he also encouraged me over this time with Claire. I remember talking to him about how hard it was to watch Claire suffer, and I remember him telling me that he knew, and he understood suffering. And then I remember asking him "why?", "why us", "why now?", "why Claire?" And his answer was as plain as day... "Because I love you"! WOW! speachless! And today it gives me goosebumps to think of a love so vast and strong and amazing!
But his latest audible voice to me that came out of the blue, really.... was that I needed to take Hope to Nicaragua with me this year when our church is going! What? take a 7 year old overseas on a mission trip? Am I crazy? Apparently so.... because she has been approved to go by everyone I could ask about it... God moves in amazing ways, and I am so glad he chooses to talk to me sometimes!
Everyone has one and it can be used for much good or much bad. I grew up with a father who we teased had "the voice", and you sure didn't want to be on the receiving end of "the voice". It usually meant you were in pretty big trouble. But somehow he managed to win our respect and even reverance without really raising his voice.
Voices can be raised in beautiful song, can be used as cheers at many sporting events, can be a quiet whisper of love to a child.
But what does God's voice sound like?
In youth choir one year, we did a musical that featured SSV as a main character in the play. The SSV was God's Still Small Voice. This voice choose to speak to the main characters in voices that we could hear but the other cast members could not at the time. I have always loved the idea of God's Still Small Voice. After all, in Psalms it tells us to "Be stil and know that I am God". Possibly implying that we must be quiet in order to hear God speak to us.
But I have had a few experiences in my life, when God's voice is neither Still nor Small. It is almost as if I have heard a real voice saying as plan as day what I should do. And yes, it scared me spitless the first time I "heard" it.
The first time I remember hearing God's voice was when Russell and I had really just become friends. And I heard an almost audible voice tell me that I was going to marry this guy. Imagine my shock! What? I hardly know him! Well of course 2 1/2 years later we were engaged, and now we have been married for 12 years!
The next real time I remember God speaking to me in that audible voice was before Molly was born. In fact God told me I was pregnant with Molly before I physically knew, but he also encouraged me over this time with Claire. I remember talking to him about how hard it was to watch Claire suffer, and I remember him telling me that he knew, and he understood suffering. And then I remember asking him "why?", "why us", "why now?", "why Claire?" And his answer was as plain as day... "Because I love you"! WOW! speachless! And today it gives me goosebumps to think of a love so vast and strong and amazing!
But his latest audible voice to me that came out of the blue, really.... was that I needed to take Hope to Nicaragua with me this year when our church is going! What? take a 7 year old overseas on a mission trip? Am I crazy? Apparently so.... because she has been approved to go by everyone I could ask about it... God moves in amazing ways, and I am so glad he chooses to talk to me sometimes!
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Little Girl Fun
With Hope away for the week at Grandmommy and Grandaddy's house. I have gotten to enjoy a relatively quiet week with just Claire and Molly. We have had quite a bit of fun just playing, and quite a bit of that playing time spent outside.....
Molly is quite a hoot to watch riding her new ride on toy. Of course she isn't quite tall enough to reach the peddles, so she pushes with her feet and then lets momentum and gravity race her down any little hill there may be.
She has also loved pushing "sissy" as she calls Claire, in her swing. Hold on tight Claire!
How precious it is to spend time with each one of my children!
PS...2 more new posts following this one---so check them out!
Molly is quite a hoot to watch riding her new ride on toy. Of course she isn't quite tall enough to reach the peddles, so she pushes with her feet and then lets momentum and gravity race her down any little hill there may be.
She has also loved pushing "sissy" as she calls Claire, in her swing. Hold on tight Claire!
How precious it is to spend time with each one of my children!
PS...2 more new posts following this one---so check them out!
How's Claire?
That is the question I get asked quite often by well intentioned people. I have found lately that I have been struggling as to just how to answer that simple question.
Is it really a simple question? Do I just nod my head and say, "oh she is doing fine, or good, or great..." or do I go into a more detailed explanation of just how she is?
You see a part of me just wants to pass over that question with the easy answer of "she is doing great"... but a bigger part of me is screaming out to say...."she has had 11 seizures today, she can't walk, she can't talk... she cannot communicate in a way we understand.... she is not good at all!!!"
Of course if I did bust out with that answer I would probably scare all of my friends away and they would be afraid to talk to us again.
This is the daily struggle our family faces... and I do mean daily and sometimes moment by moment. I do believe that God has a plan and a purpose for Claire. I do believe he had her in a wonderful way. I do believe he loves us and he loves Claire so much more than I can comprehend. I do not understand his ways. Yes I get frustrated as a mom... I hate to see her suffer. I hate that she is different.... I hate that she may be this way for as long as God gives her days. I do know that one day God will give her a new body, a new mind.
I want to be able to answer that Claire is good... and she is... she is healthy, and happy as far as we know. But it is hard to watch your child suffer more seizures in a day than you can count... be so wiped out afterwards from them, that she just sleeps or is zonked for the rest of the day. To me, that is not good. That is no way to have to spend your life. We are on the roller coaster ride of adjusting medicine and the good ole waiting game. May God continue to give me grace to love on Claire and grace to know how to answer the question, "How's Claire?"
Is it really a simple question? Do I just nod my head and say, "oh she is doing fine, or good, or great..." or do I go into a more detailed explanation of just how she is?
You see a part of me just wants to pass over that question with the easy answer of "she is doing great"... but a bigger part of me is screaming out to say...."she has had 11 seizures today, she can't walk, she can't talk... she cannot communicate in a way we understand.... she is not good at all!!!"
Of course if I did bust out with that answer I would probably scare all of my friends away and they would be afraid to talk to us again.
This is the daily struggle our family faces... and I do mean daily and sometimes moment by moment. I do believe that God has a plan and a purpose for Claire. I do believe he had her in a wonderful way. I do believe he loves us and he loves Claire so much more than I can comprehend. I do not understand his ways. Yes I get frustrated as a mom... I hate to see her suffer. I hate that she is different.... I hate that she may be this way for as long as God gives her days. I do know that one day God will give her a new body, a new mind.
I want to be able to answer that Claire is good... and she is... she is healthy, and happy as far as we know. But it is hard to watch your child suffer more seizures in a day than you can count... be so wiped out afterwards from them, that she just sleeps or is zonked for the rest of the day. To me, that is not good. That is no way to have to spend your life. We are on the roller coaster ride of adjusting medicine and the good ole waiting game. May God continue to give me grace to love on Claire and grace to know how to answer the question, "How's Claire?"
Big Girls Out
What a wonderful time I got to have with Hope! You see, I can only remember one time since Claire was born that I have gotten to take Hope out and just the 2 of us have some Mommy/Daughter time. Well we finally got our chance. Chad and Marci's baby shower was the end of May, so mom and I thought it would be fun to take Hope and go. So the 3 of us got to hang out for the whole weekend. We enjoyed eating together, staying in a hotel, swimming at the hotel.... enjoyed the River walk in San Antonio, the Alamo, Sea World (with no stroller---yeah) and even a trip to the state capital in Austin. We had a fabulous time.
The first meal Hope and I got to eat together after having dropped off the little girls with Grandma and Pappaw, Hope wanted to sit in a booth and sit by me. She talked non stop.... she was so excited to not have to compete for any one's attention.
I love you Hope Ashton. I had a great time with you. It is fun to hang out with you and go and explore new and exciting things that you have never gotten to see before. I love watching your enthusiasm and your joy of living. You are growing up to be such a lovely young girl!
I sure hope it won't take me 4 years to get to do that again.
The first meal Hope and I got to eat together after having dropped off the little girls with Grandma and Pappaw, Hope wanted to sit in a booth and sit by me. She talked non stop.... she was so excited to not have to compete for any one's attention.
I love you Hope Ashton. I had a great time with you. It is fun to hang out with you and go and explore new and exciting things that you have never gotten to see before. I love watching your enthusiasm and your joy of living. You are growing up to be such a lovely young girl!
I sure hope it won't take me 4 years to get to do that again.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Official
It's official........ I have an almost 7 year old... a 4 year old and a 2 year old.... where has time gone? When did I get 3 kids? When did I get old enough to have 3 kids these ages? Wow! I mean I know I have 3 kids but sometimes I look around them and the thought goes to my head.... These are all mine! I HAVE 3 KIDS!
What a crazy almost 7 years these have been. We have experienced incredible highs and lows and along have been trusting in God to lead us through each day and each moment at times.
Sometimes I think we get too far ahead of ourselves where our kids come in and we begin to plan and dream way too far into the future. I just told my mom the other day, that I think maybe God and Claire have this all figured out. Maybe we shouldn't dream and try to plan out our future, but just to live and appreciate each day for what it is. Not that I don't have dreams (big dreams for Claire... I would love to see her walk, talk, be completely healed...) but I have also come to realize that I can't plan for her future in the least, only God knows what is ahead for her and us, so I am learning to appreciate each day with her, to enjoy the smiles and giggles when they come, to praise her "baby" steps in therapy and to snuggle with her each day. I think I might should apply some of those lessons to my other kids as well.... take them for who they are and what they do right now...at almost 7 and 2.
I just read a blog from a mom who lost one of her children to a mitochondrial disease about 6 months ago.... she still has one daughter. She was talking about how crazy life is and how parenthood is so incredibly difficult at times.... Like a complicated dance when you know the least bit about dancing... To quote from her, "Parenthood is this crazy dance combining love and affirmation with a dash of discipline and a twist of pure insanity." (www.gavinowens.com) And as she so eloquently says at the end of her blog, "I can only pray that God will take my crazy clumsy steps and make a beautiful dance." I think that is what we all hope for with our children, that we would be good stewards of them and the time that we are given them. Oh precious each one of my daughters is to me. I love you Hope, Claire and Molly!
What a crazy almost 7 years these have been. We have experienced incredible highs and lows and along have been trusting in God to lead us through each day and each moment at times.
Sometimes I think we get too far ahead of ourselves where our kids come in and we begin to plan and dream way too far into the future. I just told my mom the other day, that I think maybe God and Claire have this all figured out. Maybe we shouldn't dream and try to plan out our future, but just to live and appreciate each day for what it is. Not that I don't have dreams (big dreams for Claire... I would love to see her walk, talk, be completely healed...) but I have also come to realize that I can't plan for her future in the least, only God knows what is ahead for her and us, so I am learning to appreciate each day with her, to enjoy the smiles and giggles when they come, to praise her "baby" steps in therapy and to snuggle with her each day. I think I might should apply some of those lessons to my other kids as well.... take them for who they are and what they do right now...at almost 7 and 2.
I just read a blog from a mom who lost one of her children to a mitochondrial disease about 6 months ago.... she still has one daughter. She was talking about how crazy life is and how parenthood is so incredibly difficult at times.... Like a complicated dance when you know the least bit about dancing... To quote from her, "Parenthood is this crazy dance combining love and affirmation with a dash of discipline and a twist of pure insanity." (www.gavinowens.com) And as she so eloquently says at the end of her blog, "I can only pray that God will take my crazy clumsy steps and make a beautiful dance." I think that is what we all hope for with our children, that we would be good stewards of them and the time that we are given them. Oh precious each one of my daughters is to me. I love you Hope, Claire and Molly!
Monday, April 26, 2010
More than an Observance
The Lord's Supper~more than an observance, more than a ritual, more than just eating a little cracker and drinking some grape juice. I have always loved this particular observance that we as Baptists do.... I like the fellowship time, the communion aspect, but even more importantly I like the symbolic nature of the event.
So last night at church we celebrated a time of communion. And boy was it a sweet time. Our pastor did such a good job of reminding us why we do it and what it means to us. As he has said before, it is about memory care. Remembering.....
But I think this is one of the first times that I can remember that a pastor mentioned that this was not only for those who are followers of Christ, but that we need to be doing it with pure and humble hearts. With no unconfessed sin left out there to separate us. And that through Christ's worthiness are we allowed to be worthy to take part of his body and his blood.
And then he went on to talk about how in Exodus the Lord provided the manna, the bread of life for the Israelites. And how this manna was provided daily and how it laid upon the dew, not upon the ground, the dirt. Just like Christ in his perfection came to earth, but was not influenced by the sin of the world.
Once we eat the bread and drink the juice, it doesn't just fall away from us, it becomes a part of us.... You can no longer separate the two... for we have become one! What a marvelous image.
I was also struck as I was sitting there holding the little juice cup, how red the juice is... just like Christ's blood... so I know that if I spill something red on my clothing, like ketchup, just how hard that is to wash clean. There always seems to be a remnant of that ketchup left on my clothing. But only through the power of the blood, are we washed whiter than snow... no remnant of sin left, only pure, white! WOW!
So last night at church we celebrated a time of communion. And boy was it a sweet time. Our pastor did such a good job of reminding us why we do it and what it means to us. As he has said before, it is about memory care. Remembering.....
But I think this is one of the first times that I can remember that a pastor mentioned that this was not only for those who are followers of Christ, but that we need to be doing it with pure and humble hearts. With no unconfessed sin left out there to separate us. And that through Christ's worthiness are we allowed to be worthy to take part of his body and his blood.
And then he went on to talk about how in Exodus the Lord provided the manna, the bread of life for the Israelites. And how this manna was provided daily and how it laid upon the dew, not upon the ground, the dirt. Just like Christ in his perfection came to earth, but was not influenced by the sin of the world.
Once we eat the bread and drink the juice, it doesn't just fall away from us, it becomes a part of us.... You can no longer separate the two... for we have become one! What a marvelous image.
I was also struck as I was sitting there holding the little juice cup, how red the juice is... just like Christ's blood... so I know that if I spill something red on my clothing, like ketchup, just how hard that is to wash clean. There always seems to be a remnant of that ketchup left on my clothing. But only through the power of the blood, are we washed whiter than snow... no remnant of sin left, only pure, white! WOW!
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
The Gap
Many things come to mind when I hear those 2 little words.... The Gap.... the clothing store, the phrase "mind the gap" that you see all over London (don't step over the line in the subways), the God shaped hole that is within all of us....
But for me today, they represent the time that has elapsed since I last posted a blog......
Wherever shall I begin....2 months and a lot has happend.....
We had snow and lots of it in February! Snow icecream, snow men, snowball fights--too fun!
Then mom and I took all 3 girls on a 3,000 mile journey to Florida and South Carolina. We visited great Grandad and some great friends... the beach, Medieval Times, Gatorland....lots of fun, lots of miles, lots of memories made....
Hope is wrapping up her 1st grade year. We have 2 more weeks left of ACES (homeschool coop) and she has learned an awful lot about the Civil War time period. She is active in all church activities (choir, Sunday School, and worship). And she has played lots with friends. And now that the weather is warming up, we can find her outside on her trampoline most days.
Claire is doing well. Still battling seizures almost daily, but we continue to be hopeful that we can get them back under control. For the 3rd month in a row, she has met most if not all of her short term therapy goals. She has been allowed to have a little bit of liquid by mouth again. She is starting to weight bear on her arms some and has been giggling quite a lot. She has gotten both a stander and a gait trainer as well as her own special "tomato" chair to sit with us on the floor. We are very proud of her!
Molly is still a little joy to have around. Daily she is spouting forth more words we didn't even know she knew. I think though my favorite is still yocks... (socks)... cracks me up. She is active and also loves to be outside all the time. She will follow me out the door most mornings as we take Abby out, padding along in her pjs... and asking if she can swing!
God has blessed us in some many ways..... may the rest of the year be as full of memories as the first 4 months have been. And maybe I will be better at posting more...
Enjoy the slideshow.
But for me today, they represent the time that has elapsed since I last posted a blog......
Wherever shall I begin....2 months and a lot has happend.....
We had snow and lots of it in February! Snow icecream, snow men, snowball fights--too fun!
Then mom and I took all 3 girls on a 3,000 mile journey to Florida and South Carolina. We visited great Grandad and some great friends... the beach, Medieval Times, Gatorland....lots of fun, lots of miles, lots of memories made....
We have had egg hunts, birds stealing our Easter eggs, play dates and many more things.
Russell wrapped up basketball season and is barreling right along with track. We got to take a few days to ourselves and go to the state basketball tournament in Austin. Then over Spring Break he had some minor surgery... which he is still healing from.
So the girls got to spend 9 days with Grandma and Pappaw! Fun!
It seems as if life is never dull and always moving forward. This month we will celebrate 2 of the girls birthdays, plus my own.... wow how time flies!
Claire is doing well. Still battling seizures almost daily, but we continue to be hopeful that we can get them back under control. For the 3rd month in a row, she has met most if not all of her short term therapy goals. She has been allowed to have a little bit of liquid by mouth again. She is starting to weight bear on her arms some and has been giggling quite a lot. She has gotten both a stander and a gait trainer as well as her own special "tomato" chair to sit with us on the floor. We are very proud of her!
Molly is still a little joy to have around. Daily she is spouting forth more words we didn't even know she knew. I think though my favorite is still yocks... (socks)... cracks me up. She is active and also loves to be outside all the time. She will follow me out the door most mornings as we take Abby out, padding along in her pjs... and asking if she can swing!
God has blessed us in some many ways..... may the rest of the year be as full of memories as the first 4 months have been. And maybe I will be better at posting more...
Enjoy the slideshow.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Modesty
So this blog has been floating around in my head for quite some time now. It is really 2-fold...modesty for my kids and modesty for me.
So I am going to start with modesty for my kids. I don't know about you, but it seems like fashion for my kiddos is beginning to look more like fashion for teenagers. Low scoop necks, short hem lines, skinny tops, skinny jeans, bottoms showing, bellies showing... what's next. And it doesn't stop there. Hope came and asked me when she could wear makeup to church and when could she wear high-heels! Really??? She is just 6.... in my book, 6 is still a little girl. And I want to keep her that way as long as possible. It is quite a challenge to find things age appropriate and style appropriate! Ah!! May I be wise in my choices for her and may I be wise in what I model for her.....
Now on to modesty for me..... I have always considered myself a fairly modest person... and not into the latest fashions... afterall I do like to be comfortable. But now that I am a stay at home mom, and a mom of 3 little girls, I am feeling the "burden" of being a good example for my girls in dress.... God has blessed me with a huge responsibility in raising these girls and showing them beauty. And I think it starts with modesty. So is anyone else out there frustrated by the fashion for women? It is the same as girls, low neck lines, low waists, show off skin etc.... You see, I spend the majority of my day either sitting on the floor or holding a wiggling child. I can't have a low neck line, or the next thing you know is, I am showing my top off.... I need clothes that move and groove with me, can handle a wallowing child, crawling on the floor, bending over, picking up etc.... I do not have the privilege of sitting in a desk all day, or standing up in an office, and getting to look professional and put together in the latest beautiful fashion. But that doesn't mean I don't deserve some good Mommy fashion. I also don't think I should be relegated to only wearing athletic or yoga clothes, afterall I am not "working out" all day. I am "working" as a mom.
So I am challenging any one who is reading this that might be interested in design... to help me design a fashion line for mommies who bend, groove, walk, crawl, be out amongst the kids all of the time, to come up with clothes that can handle it!
So I am going to start with modesty for my kids. I don't know about you, but it seems like fashion for my kiddos is beginning to look more like fashion for teenagers. Low scoop necks, short hem lines, skinny tops, skinny jeans, bottoms showing, bellies showing... what's next. And it doesn't stop there. Hope came and asked me when she could wear makeup to church and when could she wear high-heels! Really??? She is just 6.... in my book, 6 is still a little girl. And I want to keep her that way as long as possible. It is quite a challenge to find things age appropriate and style appropriate! Ah!! May I be wise in my choices for her and may I be wise in what I model for her.....
Now on to modesty for me..... I have always considered myself a fairly modest person... and not into the latest fashions... afterall I do like to be comfortable. But now that I am a stay at home mom, and a mom of 3 little girls, I am feeling the "burden" of being a good example for my girls in dress.... God has blessed me with a huge responsibility in raising these girls and showing them beauty. And I think it starts with modesty. So is anyone else out there frustrated by the fashion for women? It is the same as girls, low neck lines, low waists, show off skin etc.... You see, I spend the majority of my day either sitting on the floor or holding a wiggling child. I can't have a low neck line, or the next thing you know is, I am showing my top off.... I need clothes that move and groove with me, can handle a wallowing child, crawling on the floor, bending over, picking up etc.... I do not have the privilege of sitting in a desk all day, or standing up in an office, and getting to look professional and put together in the latest beautiful fashion. But that doesn't mean I don't deserve some good Mommy fashion. I also don't think I should be relegated to only wearing athletic or yoga clothes, afterall I am not "working out" all day. I am "working" as a mom.
So I am challenging any one who is reading this that might be interested in design... to help me design a fashion line for mommies who bend, groove, walk, crawl, be out amongst the kids all of the time, to come up with clothes that can handle it!
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Nicaragua Success!
What a great time we had! And oh how God worked in a mighty way in our lives and in the lives of the Nicaraguans.
the view from our beachhouse(not too shabby)
a very familiar scene
Children at the Fiesta lined up to hear about Jesus
Worshipping together
Out among the volcanoes!
We had 934 confirmed decisions for Jesus Christ for the week! Amen! This does not count all of the seeds that were planted and hopefully will be harvested soon.
the view from our beachhouse(not too shabby)
a very familiar scene
Children at the Fiesta lined up to hear about Jesus
Worshipping together
Out among the volcanoes!
We had 934 confirmed decisions for Jesus Christ for the week! Amen! This does not count all of the seeds that were planted and hopefully will be harvested soon.
Our week consisted of worshipping in 4 churches Sunday morning and 4 different churches Sunday night.
Then it was off and running Monday morning with 2 groups doing 2 fiestas for the children. We did these fiestas 4 a day through Thursday. These fiestas involved a local pastor who would lead the children in some silly games for prizes and candy. Then our group would step in and perform a skit (Sin Box Sally) to present the gospel. After the skit we would divide the group into girls, boys and women. And once again the gospel would be shared and we would ask for decisions at that time. And of course at the end, they got lots of candy.
Then each evening we would head out to a large 4 acre plot of land for our crusade. Our job for the crusade was to work the fringes. You see they set up chairs for 1000 people, but we had close to 3000 there. So lots of people hanging around the back, on top of their buses (12 bus loads of people were brought in) or on their bicycles. So we would walk around with one of our 7 incredible interpreters and find a group to present the gospel to. Lots of decisions were made during this time. I have to say I felt totally unprepared for this so called street evangelism. And the only way I could find myself doing it was through the power of the Holy Spirit. You see one night (Wednesday night), I had caught the eyes of 2 kids (cousins), so I began to talk to them, and so did Rebecca. As she talked a larger group gathered around as was typical. One of those that gathered around was a girl of about 18 (Erika). She was also a cousin of the first two kids. As Rebecca shared we were able to lead the 2 kids to Christ (you could see the transformation in their faces--amazing). As we went around the group to ask each one if they wanted to accept Christ's free gift, we came to Erika---and this is what she said.... "why is she (Rebecca) the only one talking now? I want to hear the other's stories. " So Tracie shared and as she did Erika began to cry, and then she wanted to hear my story... and as Rebecca said... the Holy Spirit took over and I just shared with her from my heart how only Christ is the way, the truth and the life....Erika shared that she thought Christ could not forgive her for things she had done, and she was having a hard time forgiving a boyfriend that had hurt her. We shared our Christ has already forgiven us, if we will just accept. That night however, Erika was not ready to accept Christ, but she wanted to see us tomorrow. So we promised her we would be there and we would be ready to talk again.
As we arrived at the field on Thursday (our last night there), Erika and her cousin approached us. This time Erika had a big smile on her face and we shared some more with her. Her little cousin the one that had accepted Christ the night before, pointed to me and asked to hear my story again. After I shared, I asked Erika if she was ready yet.....her little cousin, hanging on Erika's arm, leaned over and said to Erika..."I did it last night, tonight it is your turn!" What a witness. However, Erika was still not ready. So we asked her to watch our drama that night, and listen to our pastor preach and find us before it was over. And even if she still was not ready to accept Christ we would love her and be praying for her. Well unfortunately, I cannot tell you if Erika has accepted Christ, for we did not see her at the end of the evening. We had to get on our buses and leave before we found Erika again. Only God knows what is in Erika's heart, and we will have to wait till heaven I suppose to see if we see Erika again. So please pray for this sweet 18 year old. Pray that her 2 young cousins will be a witness to her, pray that her heart will reach out and grasp Jesus.
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