That is the question I get asked quite often by well intentioned people. I have found lately that I have been struggling as to just how to answer that simple question.
Is it really a simple question? Do I just nod my head and say, "oh she is doing fine, or good, or great..." or do I go into a more detailed explanation of just how she is?
You see a part of me just wants to pass over that question with the easy answer of "she is doing great"... but a bigger part of me is screaming out to say...."she has had 11 seizures today, she can't walk, she can't talk... she cannot communicate in a way we understand.... she is not good at all!!!"
Of course if I did bust out with that answer I would probably scare all of my friends away and they would be afraid to talk to us again.
This is the daily struggle our family faces... and I do mean daily and sometimes moment by moment. I do believe that God has a plan and a purpose for Claire. I do believe he had her in a wonderful way. I do believe he loves us and he loves Claire so much more than I can comprehend. I do not understand his ways. Yes I get frustrated as a mom... I hate to see her suffer. I hate that she is different.... I hate that she may be this way for as long as God gives her days. I do know that one day God will give her a new body, a new mind.
I want to be able to answer that Claire is good... and she is... she is healthy, and happy as far as we know. But it is hard to watch your child suffer more seizures in a day than you can count... be so wiped out afterwards from them, that she just sleeps or is zonked for the rest of the day. To me, that is not good. That is no way to have to spend your life. We are on the roller coaster ride of adjusting medicine and the good ole waiting game. May God continue to give me grace to love on Claire and grace to know how to answer the question, "How's Claire?"
2 comments:
Oh, Sweet Mandy. You know you can "bust out" with me anytime! Your post brought tears to my eyes. I think it is too easy for the rest of us to go about our days admiring you for how you handle your journey with Claire and think, God gave Claire to the right parents. But truth is, you didn't ask for this journey any more than the rest of us would. So thank you for the reminder of all you must go through. And I promise to not just stand back and admire you from afar, but to continue to partner with you in prayer, and in loving Claire. I love you!
Ditto to what Catherine said, girl. Just got to your blog this evening! Thank you for the wonderful visit today! It was such a pleasant surprise and AJ had a blast with you, Claire and Molly..
Just so you know, I really do want to know how your days are with Claire. I have no understanding of what you and the family go through each day, but you are so strong in your faith and we are all blessed to know Claire and love her! Your friendship is such a blessing and I love you!
Post a Comment