Nicaragua Times Two!

Here we come Nicaragua! This year a group of 6 of us are headed back to Nicaragua. And this time I am getting to take Hope with me. I am so excited about this opportunity for both of us. As seen in a previous blog, I truly feel God has laid this trip on my heart for both Hope and I and I can only assume he has great and amazing things in store for us.

So we are flying out early Tuesday morning and will be serving in Nicaragua for a week. Plus getting to enjoy the amazing beach and ocean front mission house.

Please pray for safety....boldness in sharing...Hope's overall experience for her eyes are going to see a completely different world.... for patience (I know I am going to answering lots of questions)...for Grandmommy and Grandaddy as they watch the other two girls...for Russell as he is home alone....for Christ's word to penetrate many hearts...for me to have enough love to share with all I see... for our translators they are our life line over there.

I will post again after the trip and share our amazing journey.

My little elves

Fall Fun times

The Ratliff family has had lots of fun times this Fall... from homeschool projects, to the circus, the State Fair, and Pumpkins in the Park. Wow! We sure do know how to fill our calendar up to the max. But Dad and I have had a great time with the girls in some of these exciting endeavors. It is quite fun to watch them learn, grow, and experience life. May God continue to bless our family times together....

Enjoy the pictures!

SSV

Voices?!?!

Everyone has one and it can be used for much good or much bad. I grew up with a father who we teased had "the voice", and you sure didn't want to be on the receiving end of "the voice". It usually meant you were in pretty big trouble. But somehow he managed to win our respect and even reverance without really raising his voice.

Voices can be raised in beautiful song, can be used as cheers at many sporting events, can be a quiet whisper of love to a child.

But what does God's voice sound like?

In youth choir one year, we did a musical that featured SSV as a main character in the play. The SSV was God's Still Small Voice. This voice choose to speak to the main characters in voices that we could hear but the other cast members could not at the time. I have always loved the idea of God's Still Small Voice. After all, in Psalms it tells us to "Be stil and know that I am God". Possibly implying that we must be quiet in order to hear God speak to us.

But I have had a few experiences in my life, when God's voice is neither Still nor Small. It is almost as if I have heard a real voice saying as plan as day what I should do. And yes, it scared me spitless the first time I "heard" it.

The first time I remember hearing God's voice was when Russell and I had really just become friends. And I heard an almost audible voice tell me that I was going to marry this guy. Imagine my shock! What? I hardly know him! Well of course 2 1/2 years later we were engaged, and now we have been married for 12 years!

The next real time I remember God speaking to me in that audible voice was before Molly was born. In fact God told me I was pregnant with Molly before I physically knew, but he also encouraged me over this time with Claire. I remember talking to him about how hard it was to watch Claire suffer, and I remember him telling me that he knew, and he understood suffering. And then I remember asking him "why?", "why us", "why now?", "why Claire?" And his answer was as plain as day... "Because I love you"! WOW! speachless! And today it gives me goosebumps to think of a love so vast and strong and amazing!

But his latest audible voice to me that came out of the blue, really.... was that I needed to take Hope to Nicaragua with me this year when our church is going! What? take a 7 year old overseas on a mission trip? Am I crazy? Apparently so.... because she has been approved to go by everyone I could ask about it... God moves in amazing ways, and I am so glad he chooses to talk to me sometimes!

Little Girl Fun

With Hope away for the week at Grandmommy and Grandaddy's house. I have gotten to enjoy a relatively quiet week with just Claire and Molly. We have had quite a bit of fun just playing, and quite a bit of that playing time spent outside.....

Molly is quite a hoot to watch riding her new ride on toy. Of course she isn't quite tall enough to reach the peddles, so she pushes with her feet and then lets momentum and gravity race her down any little hill there may be.

She has also loved pushing "sissy" as she calls Claire, in her swing. Hold on tight Claire!

How precious it is to spend time with each one of my children!


PS...2 more new posts following this one---so check them out!

How's Claire?

That is the question I get asked quite often by well intentioned people. I have found lately that I have been struggling as to just how to answer that simple question.

Is it really a simple question? Do I just nod my head and say, "oh she is doing fine, or good, or great..." or do I go into a more detailed explanation of just how she is?

You see a part of me just wants to pass over that question with the easy answer of "she is doing great"... but a bigger part of me is screaming out to say...."she has had 11 seizures today, she can't walk, she can't talk... she cannot communicate in a way we understand.... she is not good at all!!!"

Of course if I did bust out with that answer I would probably scare all of my friends away and they would be afraid to talk to us again.

This is the daily struggle our family faces... and I do mean daily and sometimes moment by moment. I do believe that God has a plan and a purpose for Claire. I do believe he had her in a wonderful way. I do believe he loves us and he loves Claire so much more than I can comprehend. I do not understand his ways. Yes I get frustrated as a mom... I hate to see her suffer. I hate that she is different.... I hate that she may be this way for as long as God gives her days. I do know that one day God will give her a new body, a new mind.

I want to be able to answer that Claire is good... and she is... she is healthy, and happy as far as we know. But it is hard to watch your child suffer more seizures in a day than you can count... be so wiped out afterwards from them, that she just sleeps or is zonked for the rest of the day. To me, that is not good. That is no way to have to spend your life. We are on the roller coaster ride of adjusting medicine and the good ole waiting game. May God continue to give me grace to love on Claire and grace to know how to answer the question, "How's Claire?"

Big Girls Out

What a wonderful time I got to have with Hope! You see, I can only remember one time since Claire was born that I have gotten to take Hope out and just the 2 of us have some Mommy/Daughter time. Well we finally got our chance. Chad and Marci's baby shower was the end of May, so mom and I thought it would be fun to take Hope and go. So the 3 of us got to hang out for the whole weekend. We enjoyed eating together, staying in a hotel, swimming at the hotel.... enjoyed the River walk in San Antonio, the Alamo, Sea World (with no stroller---yeah) and even a trip to the state capital in Austin. We had a fabulous time.

The first meal Hope and I got to eat together after having dropped off the little girls with Grandma and Pappaw, Hope wanted to sit in a booth and sit by me. She talked non stop.... she was so excited to not have to compete for any one's attention.

I love you Hope Ashton. I had a great time with you. It is fun to hang out with you and go and explore new and exciting things that you have never gotten to see before. I love watching your enthusiasm and your joy of living. You are growing up to be such a lovely young girl!

I sure hope it won't take me 4 years to get to do that again.

Official

It's official........ I have an almost 7 year old... a 4 year old and a 2 year old.... where has time gone? When did I get 3 kids? When did I get old enough to have 3 kids these ages? Wow! I mean I know I have 3 kids but sometimes I look around them and the thought goes to my head.... These are all mine! I HAVE 3 KIDS!

What a crazy almost 7 years these have been. We have experienced incredible highs and lows and along have been trusting in God to lead us through each day and each moment at times.

Sometimes I think we get too far ahead of ourselves where our kids come in and we begin to plan and dream way too far into the future. I just told my mom the other day, that I think maybe God and Claire have this all figured out. Maybe we shouldn't dream and try to plan out our future, but just to live and appreciate each day for what it is. Not that I don't have dreams (big dreams for Claire... I would love to see her walk, talk, be completely healed...) but I have also come to realize that I can't plan for her future in the least, only God knows what is ahead for her and us, so I am learning to appreciate each day with her, to enjoy the smiles and giggles when they come, to praise her "baby" steps in therapy and to snuggle with her each day. I think I might should apply some of those lessons to my other kids as well.... take them for who they are and what they do right now...at almost 7 and 2.

I just read a blog from a mom who lost one of her children to a mitochondrial disease about 6 months ago.... she still has one daughter. She was talking about how crazy life is and how parenthood is so incredibly difficult at times.... Like a complicated dance when you know the least bit about dancing... To quote from her, "Parenthood is this crazy dance combining love and affirmation with a dash of discipline and a twist of pure insanity." (www.gavinowens.com) And as she so eloquently says at the end of her blog, "I can only pray that God will take my crazy clumsy steps and make a beautiful dance." I think that is what we all hope for with our children, that we would be good stewards of them and the time that we are given them. Oh precious each one of my daughters is to me. I love you Hope, Claire and Molly!

More than an Observance

The Lord's Supper~more than an observance, more than a ritual, more than just eating a little cracker and drinking some grape juice. I have always loved this particular observance that we as Baptists do.... I like the fellowship time, the communion aspect, but even more importantly I like the symbolic nature of the event.

So last night at church we celebrated a time of communion. And boy was it a sweet time. Our pastor did such a good job of reminding us why we do it and what it means to us. As he has said before, it is about memory care. Remembering.....

But I think this is one of the first times that I can remember that a pastor mentioned that this was not only for those who are followers of Christ, but that we need to be doing it with pure and humble hearts. With no unconfessed sin left out there to separate us. And that through Christ's worthiness are we allowed to be worthy to take part of his body and his blood.

And then he went on to talk about how in Exodus the Lord provided the manna, the bread of life for the Israelites. And how this manna was provided daily and how it laid upon the dew, not upon the ground, the dirt. Just like Christ in his perfection came to earth, but was not influenced by the sin of the world.

Once we eat the bread and drink the juice, it doesn't just fall away from us, it becomes a part of us.... You can no longer separate the two... for we have become one! What a marvelous image.

I was also struck as I was sitting there holding the little juice cup, how red the juice is... just like Christ's blood... so I know that if I spill something red on my clothing, like ketchup, just how hard that is to wash clean. There always seems to be a remnant of that ketchup left on my clothing. But only through the power of the blood, are we washed whiter than snow... no remnant of sin left, only pure, white! WOW!

The Gap

Many things come to mind when I hear those 2 little words.... The Gap.... the clothing store, the phrase "mind the gap" that you see all over London (don't step over the line in the subways), the God shaped hole that is within all of us....
But for me today, they represent the time that has elapsed since I last posted a blog......

Wherever shall I begin....2 months and a lot has happend.....

We had snow and lots of it in February! Snow icecream, snow men, snowball fights--too fun!

Then mom and I took all 3 girls on a 3,000 mile journey to Florida and South Carolina. We visited great Grandad and some great friends... the beach, Medieval Times, Gatorland....lots of fun, lots of miles, lots of memories made....

We have had egg hunts, birds stealing our Easter eggs, play dates and many more things.

Russell wrapped up basketball season and is barreling right along with track. We got to take a few days to ourselves and go to the state basketball tournament in Austin. Then over Spring Break he had some minor surgery... which he is still healing from.

So the girls got to spend 9 days with Grandma and Pappaw! Fun!

It seems as if life is never dull and always moving forward. This month we will celebrate 2 of the girls birthdays, plus my own.... wow how time flies!

Hope is wrapping up her 1st grade year. We have 2 more weeks left of ACES (homeschool coop) and she has learned an awful lot about the Civil War time period. She is active in all church activities (choir, Sunday School, and worship). And she has played lots with friends. And now that the weather is warming up, we can find her outside on her trampoline most days.

Claire is doing well. Still battling seizures almost daily, but we continue to be hopeful that we can get them back under control. For the 3rd month in a row, she has met most if not all of her short term therapy goals. She has been allowed to have a little bit of liquid by mouth again. She is starting to weight bear on her arms some and has been giggling quite a lot. She has gotten both a stander and a gait trainer as well as her own special "tomato" chair to sit with us on the floor. We are very proud of her!

Molly is still a little joy to have around. Daily she is spouting forth more words we didn't even know she knew. I think though my favorite is still yocks... (socks)... cracks me up. She is active and also loves to be outside all the time. She will follow me out the door most mornings as we take Abby out, padding along in her pjs... and asking if she can swing!

God has blessed us in some many ways..... may the rest of the year be as full of memories as the first 4 months have been. And maybe I will be better at posting more...

Enjoy the slideshow.

Modesty

So this blog has been floating around in my head for quite some time now. It is really 2-fold...modesty for my kids and modesty for me.

So I am going to start with modesty for my kids. I don't know about you, but it seems like fashion for my kiddos is beginning to look more like fashion for teenagers. Low scoop necks, short hem lines, skinny tops, skinny jeans, bottoms showing, bellies showing... what's next. And it doesn't stop there. Hope came and asked me when she could wear makeup to church and when could she wear high-heels! Really??? She is just 6.... in my book, 6 is still a little girl. And I want to keep her that way as long as possible. It is quite a challenge to find things age appropriate and style appropriate! Ah!! May I be wise in my choices for her and may I be wise in what I model for her.....

Now on to modesty for me..... I have always considered myself a fairly modest person... and not into the latest fashions... afterall I do like to be comfortable. But now that I am a stay at home mom, and a mom of 3 little girls, I am feeling the "burden" of being a good example for my girls in dress.... God has blessed me with a huge responsibility in raising these girls and showing them beauty. And I think it starts with modesty. So is anyone else out there frustrated by the fashion for women? It is the same as girls, low neck lines, low waists, show off skin etc.... You see, I spend the majority of my day either sitting on the floor or holding a wiggling child. I can't have a low neck line, or the next thing you know is, I am showing my top off.... I need clothes that move and groove with me, can handle a wallowing child, crawling on the floor, bending over, picking up etc.... I do not have the privilege of sitting in a desk all day, or standing up in an office, and getting to look professional and put together in the latest beautiful fashion. But that doesn't mean I don't deserve some good Mommy fashion. I also don't think I should be relegated to only wearing athletic or yoga clothes, afterall I am not "working out" all day. I am "working" as a mom.

So I am challenging any one who is reading this that might be interested in design... to help me design a fashion line for mommies who bend, groove, walk, crawl, be out amongst the kids all of the time, to come up with clothes that can handle it!

Nicaragua Success!

What a great time we had! And oh how God worked in a mighty way in our lives and in the lives of the Nicaraguans.



the view from our beachhouse(not too shabby)


a very familiar scene


Children at the Fiesta lined up to hear about Jesus



Worshipping together

Out among the volcanoes!

We had 934 confirmed decisions for Jesus Christ for the week! Amen! This does not count all of the seeds that were planted and hopefully will be harvested soon.

Our week consisted of worshipping in 4 churches Sunday morning and 4 different churches Sunday night.

Then it was off and running Monday morning with 2 groups doing 2 fiestas for the children. We did these fiestas 4 a day through Thursday. These fiestas involved a local pastor who would lead the children in some silly games for prizes and candy. Then our group would step in and perform a skit (Sin Box Sally) to present the gospel. After the skit we would divide the group into girls, boys and women. And once again the gospel would be shared and we would ask for decisions at that time. And of course at the end, they got lots of candy.

Then each evening we would head out to a large 4 acre plot of land for our crusade. Our job for the crusade was to work the fringes. You see they set up chairs for 1000 people, but we had close to 3000 there. So lots of people hanging around the back, on top of their buses (12 bus loads of people were brought in) or on their bicycles. So we would walk around with one of our 7 incredible interpreters and find a group to present the gospel to. Lots of decisions were made during this time. I have to say I felt totally unprepared for this so called street evangelism. And the only way I could find myself doing it was through the power of the Holy Spirit. You see one night (Wednesday night), I had caught the eyes of 2 kids (cousins), so I began to talk to them, and so did Rebecca. As she talked a larger group gathered around as was typical. One of those that gathered around was a girl of about 18 (Erika). She was also a cousin of the first two kids. As Rebecca shared we were able to lead the 2 kids to Christ (you could see the transformation in their faces--amazing). As we went around the group to ask each one if they wanted to accept Christ's free gift, we came to Erika---and this is what she said.... "why is she (Rebecca) the only one talking now? I want to hear the other's stories. " So Tracie shared and as she did Erika began to cry, and then she wanted to hear my story... and as Rebecca said... the Holy Spirit took over and I just shared with her from my heart how only Christ is the way, the truth and the life....Erika shared that she thought Christ could not forgive her for things she had done, and she was having a hard time forgiving a boyfriend that had hurt her. We shared our Christ has already forgiven us, if we will just accept. That night however, Erika was not ready to accept Christ, but she wanted to see us tomorrow. So we promised her we would be there and we would be ready to talk again.

As we arrived at the field on Thursday (our last night there), Erika and her cousin approached us. This time Erika had a big smile on her face and we shared some more with her. Her little cousin the one that had accepted Christ the night before, pointed to me and asked to hear my story again. After I shared, I asked Erika if she was ready yet.....her little cousin, hanging on Erika's arm, leaned over and said to Erika..."I did it last night, tonight it is your turn!" What a witness. However, Erika was still not ready. So we asked her to watch our drama that night, and listen to our pastor preach and find us before it was over. And even if she still was not ready to accept Christ we would love her and be praying for her. Well unfortunately, I cannot tell you if Erika has accepted Christ, for we did not see her at the end of the evening. We had to get on our buses and leave before we found Erika again. Only God knows what is in Erika's heart, and we will have to wait till heaven I suppose to see if we see Erika again. So please pray for this sweet 18 year old. Pray that her 2 young cousins will be a witness to her, pray that her heart will reach out and grasp Jesus.